Insightful Communications

Write A New Story ... August 2011, featured in select SNAP Newspapers in York Region, ON

2011-07-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

‘Write a New Story’ is a great metaphor for many things in our lives.

Sometimes it’s about creating healthier habits. It could be initiating important changes in the way you contribute to your key relationships – or making a decision to move beyond an existing situation.

Either way, what’s most important is recognizing the choices we have and acting on those choices with honesty, wisdom and compassion. As we know, the outcomes that develop are stronger-decision making skills, more confidence, courage, personal happiness and fulfillment of purpose.

Given that it’s the time of year when many of us take time to reflect on where we’re at (and where we’re not), let’s look at three areas that this could pertain to:

Your Personal Journey

Are there changes you need to make? Are there things you need to learn? Take stock of your challenges – and also what your strengths are and put them to greater use to support what you want and deserve in life! Remember too, it takes 21 days to form a habit, good or bad – so get your calendar out and start charting your success!

Your Life’s Work

Do you love what you do? Could you love what you do? Are you ‘showing up everyday’ in a way that speaks to the kind of person you are or wish to be?

Are you looking for the ‘positives’ and recognizing the options you have, or are you ‘standing in your own way’? If you ‘see’ that you are impeding your own progress (versus blaming someone else for your misfortune), the good news is that the solution is in your hands also!

The Book In You

If this is something you’ve always wanted to do, the great thing is that it is quite attainable these days. But how and where do you to start? Here are some tips: 1) If you haven’t begun writing yet, try creating your preface first, outlining the intention of your message. Also, chunk your tasks into bite-size pieces, considering chapter titles and content, and build from there. 2) Know what your goals are for your book and 3) Hire a good editor, someone that ‘gets you and your message’.

One other challenge that applies to all of the above is ‘time’, wouldn’t you agree?! Try doing what I call a Wellness Journal. Customize it in any way that fits for you. Simply make note of what fills all of your hours and days for one entire week (168 hours). Be as detailed as you can, and you will quickly see some areas that you can refine, in order to make more room for your ideal life!

I encourage you to surround yourself with caring, heart-centered, forward-thinking friends and colleagues... And whatever your story is or the new one you’re meant to write, literally or figuratively; don’t wait any longer... Gather the resources and support you need and GO FOR IT!

Sheri Andrunyk, MNLP, RP
Holistic Business & Life Coach, Writer, Editor, Speaker
Founder, Women For Women Canada & Companies, Insightful Communications & I C Publishing

Thoughts for Today ...

2011-03-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

Just sharing ... to remind us of the many special moments we can let go unnoticed, as we flit about in our busy lives ... 'Counting my blessings and encouraging you to count yours as well!
Warmest regards, Sheri Andrunyk

Beautiful Insights by my Mom:
Writer/Author, Gayle Clarke
Women For Women & Insightful Communications

I’m at peace today. Nothing violent mars the horizon. No deafening sounds shatter my soul. No problems enter my mind. Today we have no bills to pay, no mountains to climb. Today, there is no hate, no hurry, no worry; only harmony, the kind of harmony that comes not from music, but from complete tranquility. Sitting at the water’s edge, in this quiet corner of our world, I could not possibly feel otherwise. The trees stand tall and majestic, their leaves rustling gently with the breeze. The bay ripples lightly; a bird chirps merrily. A motor drones in the background, but it doesn’t break through the boundaries of the scene that encompasses me today.

Funny, I didn’t notice the serenity last month, or feel this total relaxed person that I was today. The air is crisp and cool, and the sun is warm and bright. I’m alive and I’m glad, and that’s the way it should be, though it’s not always the way it is. Some days the clouds hide the sun, our spirits are down, and the light inside us is so dim we cannot see beyond the grey to when the sky was clear and our hearts were light; but not today. For today, I looked at the clouds and I was filled with the wonders of the world, an unexplainable ecstasy. I felt surrounded and swallowed up at the same time, engulfed by a greatness that was beyond my understanding. The clouds, billowy and beckoning, hover overhead, some fluffy and light, floating; and others hang suspended, as if held by a fine thread, invisible to the naked eye.

It is sad to think how long it has been since a few moments in a day have afforded me the treasures I’ve discovered today, but I am thankful for the experience, and can only hope that another opportunity will present itself to me in the near future. For without it, I may soon forget how fortunate I am to have a family I care for more deeply than I can say; and how lucky we are to have our health and each other. We have our limbs; we can walk to each other and hold each other. We have our eyes to see each other. We can speak our feelings and share a unity that is priceless, that should never be abused, and that should always be cherished.

And perhaps because I have all this and because I had a few special moments today, the world seems even more spectacular….

…I was glad, so much so that my heart filled to overflowing and the tears welled in my eyes. So much happiness inside that I couldn’t contain it. Isn’t that fantastic! Oh how I wish I could cry constantly – feel this feeling forever. But it’s so special; maybe we’re only privileged to experience it once in a lifetime. If that be so, may I never forget the precious memory of today. And in remembering, may it give us a closeness and understanding that will be envied by all who encounter it. And may others be blessed with their share of the moments I had today. For in experiencing this, life takes on a new meaning. Sharing becomes easy and giving becomes a necessity, because there’s so much to give, so many to give to, and everything to share…

Friends

2011-01-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Life is brimming with opportunities… to become more self-aware, learn new things, strengthen relationships, gain new friends and alliances, aspire and reach new heights personally and professionally… and above all, to ‘make a powerful and positive difference’ in the lives of others!

I would like to share the following message with you, as I believe it is an important reminder for us all, especially as we embrace another beautiful year full of promise and potential. I wish I could credit the person who wrote it, although the author is unknown. That said, I have lived it ‘in the positive’. I hope that you know this ‘truth’ for your own life, and that it contributes brightly to your future and your legacy!

“Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone who’s not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening; with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships/relationships.”

LEADERSHIP

2010-12-21T06:23:00.000-08:00

... First and foremost, I believe that life is infinitely easier and more enjoyable, when you become a great leader of YOURSELF, your own thoughts, your own actions and your own outcomes. This is what we have the most influence over too... wouldn’t you agree?

Think about the mentors and leaders in your life. Who inspires you most? Who moves you to action? Is it one that ‘tells’ you what you need to do, or is the one that ‘models’ that in their own life? Is it the one that communicates with understanding, compassion and respect – as if they truly have ‘walked in your shoes’?

We all have the opportunity, and I believe the ability, to lead in many areas of our lives. Once we are clear about who we are and what we need to work on in our own journey first, we can then help others do the same – whether guiding or encouraging a client, colleague, friend or child (and we can do it from a much healthier place).
Far too many people put the cart before the horse, and attempt to lead others before they have their own path worked out. It’s not to say that it can’t be done. However, what often arises is added frustration and confusion – and although, confusion’ is often a ‘state of learning'– I also know that with some patience and wisdom, we can soften the edges of our learning with better choices.

Consider the commonality between many of the Great Leaders that I know and admire:

•They are clear about who they are and who they are not (and they are ‘good’ with that)
•They have ‘their’ priorities straight and they live and work with ‘integrity’ – making choices for the greater good, not always for the ‘greater dollar’
•They influence through others, and affect a positive and inspiring ripple wherever they go
•They look for ways to elevate others and share the credit (or give it away when it seems right)
•Their success in life and work is measurable and sustainable
•They’re intuitive, resilient, present-focused and courageous
•They only compare themselves to others, for inspiration, motivation and growth
•They’re a student of life, embracing all the beauty and imperfections ... and the trials and tribulations, having faith that there is a seed of learning in every experience – to enrich our lives ‘and’ the lives of others

I encourage you to:

•Be present and quiet when you need to be
•Be strong in your convictions
•Clear about what matters most to you
•Take others with you on your journey
•... & ACT ON ALL ‘YOUR POSSIBILITIES’

Play To Win or Play Not To Lose?

2010-04-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

The answer...? ‘Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Or maybe it sounds like the same thing – on the surface?

Most of the country watched some of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games. If you saw the Canada/Slovakia hockey game and especially the ‘still talked about’ Canada/U.S. final game for the Gold and Silver medals, this might ring familiar (as referenced by one of the commentators).

When you are tired, unsure, second-guessing yourself ... (you can fill in the blanks) ... almost unknowingly you change your paradigm and ‘play not to lose’! The trouble is that it usually leads to very undesirable or at least ineffective results.

That said, the coaches and players of Team Canada showed ‘with inspiration and determination’ that you can almost as easily shift your paradigm back – and play to win!

I believe that this is a great metaphor in life.

Whether as a parent, partner, small business owner or sales manager, we all know that there are two ways to initiate an important (perhaps even challenging) conversation or project. We can play to win – or play not to lose.

Playing to win requires some strategy and taking into consideration how the other person(s) will be affected and hopefully benefit. It also commands a sense of purpose, responsibility and a fair bit of effort!

Playing not to lose takes just about as much out of you, without the potential ‘positives’ that come from playing to win. What are the signs that you have slipped into this mode; perhaps trying ‘really hard’, feeling tired, disheartened or discouraged, confused, or unclear?

What are some of the ways that you can you get it back and stay in ‘play to win’ mode more often than not?

•Be clear about what you want and recognize the needs of others too
•Be confident in your own skills and strengths and also acknowledge other’s abilities
•Be a team player – make it easy for others to shine around you
•Pay attention to your internal dialogue, body language and actions – allow yourself to notice what is working for you (or not) and have the courage to make the necessary adjustments

Every day, every week, month and season, gives us the opportunity to learn... and start fresh! In fact, the season of spring that is now upon us, offers a little extra – with lots of examples in nature, of patience, steadfastness and new growth!

Here’s to your success in life and business!

Connecting To Your Inner Voice - March 2010

2010-03-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

Excerpt from one of Sheri's NLP Workshops, Article featured in SNAP Georgina Newspaper

“Take a few deep breathes… Be still & quiet, the longer the better…

(As I wrote last month) we have an opportunity to re-create our thoughts and our circumstances every day!

When was the last time you were you quiet enough to hear the sound of a cat purring, snow crunching under your feet, or birds singing? Have you ever watched a flower bloom?

I remember as a little girl, from relatively humble beginnings, how my Mom would make each day so special.

… And as a brief aside, my Mom has worked full-time since I was 5 years old, which certainly reinforces that it’s about quality, not just quantity! It’s also a good reminder to those of us who had the privilege of being ‘Stay-At-Home’ Moms or Dads, or made the choice to have a home-based business that could grow as our children did!

She made me so aware of my surroundings, saying things like, “Do you hear that Sheri?”…and it would be the hum of the fridge, or simply ‘silence’ itself!

Honestly, now as an adult, it’s one of the exercises that often calm and sustain me in the most challenging of situations. Sometimes without even realizing it, I ‘still’ myself for just seconds, tuning out then tuning back in, refocused and refreshed as the moment will allow…

This exercise is just one of many that can help ‘you’ connect to your inner voice, that beautiful spirit inside!

What resonates deep within you?

Do you find that your mind is always cluttered with thoughts of the day?

Have you ever said “I can't even hear myself think”? If you could, what or who's voice would you hear?

What do you hold to be true or possible for your life? Are those truths serving or limiting you, your family… your friends?

Get to know yourself better. Ask yourself better questions?

Learn to acknowledge the choices you have, and trust yourself!

With the demands of our fast-paced life, it's more important than ever to 'be in the now' and 'pay attention' to the little things that can empower you and others around you to live a more fulfilled and peaceful life!”

How Do You REINVENT Yourself? - February 2010

2010-03-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

Article by Sheri Andrunyk, featured in SNAP Georgina Newspaper

How do you REINVENT yourself?

It’s February, and although some of you are probably happy that we’re a few weeks closer to spring, you also might be thinking that you wish you could START THE YEAR OVER ... AND ‘THIS TIME’ STAY THE COURSE ON THOSE GOALS THAT YOU SET FOR YOURSELF!

You can, and you don’t have to back up the calendar. In fact, that’s what reinvention is, and we all can do it ‘every day’. The alternative is that we make excuses about why we can’t.

There are numerous ways to do this and build the muscles of reinvention and recreation! I spoke to one way in last month’s article; pay closer attention to your thoughts and actions. Allow yourself to notice your own contribution to a situation, what’s working and what’s not working, and then ask yourself, ‘What can I do to make it more the way I want it?’ ... and then DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

Another key to your success is to recognize when it is helpful to have an ‘all or nothing’ focus and when it is not. For example, when you have a specific task to complete in a certain time-frame, and it requires deep thought and creativity, putting all or most of your attention to that task could be very useful.

More often than not though, people have an ‘all or nothing’ mindset towards circumstances in their life that limits the potential success they will have. Sometimes it even sabotages their ideals and goals completely. Consider our role as a parent or teacher ... Do we look for the good in our child; or once they’ve made some poor choices, are we ‘on guard’ for more poor choices (and how does that affect our influence or effectiveness)?

... And what about our own self-talk? Think about the last ‘not so great’ morning you had; did you ‘write off’ the entire day? Or what about the last ‘rough week’ you experienced, did you ‘give up’ on the month?

Everyone has challenges. Each of us has the opportunity to decide every moment how we’re going to meet those challenges. Here are some questions you can ask yourself next time you feel discouraged or frustrated:
• What can I learn from this situation?
• What can I do differently ‘now’ and ‘next time’?
• How can I still achieve what I want to?

SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS by considering what more you are willing to do, evaluate time-frames, and chunk bigger goals into smaller ones ... ‘& Be mindful of who you share your goals with, entrusting this only to those that believe in you wholeheartedly and can assist you in your journey!

State of the Union or State of Mind - January 2010

2010-03-08T09:47:00.000-08:00

Article by Sheri Andrunyk, featured in SNAP Georgina Newspaper

All things considered and relative, which do you think is most important, the state of the union or one’s state of mind? I suspect you’ll at least agree that you have more control over one than the other.

When I reference the ‘state of the union’, I speak to external circumstances, whether it’s a downturn in the economy or unrest in a church or home.

Although it’s not my intention to negate or be insensitive to the challenges that have affected most of us this past year in some way; it is my desire to help you become more aware of the influences you do have in your life. This applies to us all, on the home front and in business.

Have you ever noticed someone talking a lot about what’s wrong in their life, about the things they feel are beyond their control, how frustrated they are with a boss, colleague, friend or a loved one? Perhaps you’ve even done this? You wouldn’t be alone.

At the risk of sounding a little cliché, there is some truth to the saying ‘what you focus on tends to grow and expand’. If you’re not sure about this, what about a bad day that goes from ‘bad to worse’? What were your predominant thoughts?

As you start this month/year/season off and consider the changes you would like to see and create, I encourage you to pay closer attention to your thoughts, and for that matter, your actions.

Allow yourself to notice your own contribution to a situation, and then ask yourself, ‘What can I do to make it more the way I want it?’ This works for parents, kids and corporate executives alike.

Count your blessings every day, embrace the choices you do have; and reinvent yourself because you can.

Do I call, email, blog, twitter or link?

2009-09-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

I attended a Social Media Seminar last night, which was very well presented and facilitated by Joanne Burgess of Virtually Yours. It shed a bit more light on the different forums for on-line communication, such as Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn - the big 3, as Joanne calls them.

Being a communication advocate and specialist myself, perhaps a bit of the old-fashioned kind, it was very refreshing that Joanne spoke to the importance of building relationships 'even on-line', with an emphasis on being consistent in your efforts and involvement (whatever you choose to do), and doing so in an open and authentic way!

She outlined the many uses and benefits of each of the 'big 3' to help people decide where best to put their energies, in the event that they desired to increase or build an on-line profile and following (personally and/or professionally).

I also valued the brief discussion on etiquette and using common sense with respect to what you share publicly (which applies 'anywhere' in my opinion).

Perhaps the reason I titled this blog the way I did, is that I personally left wondering if I really 'ought to take the plunge' fully. Further, I knew that this question had already come up for some of my clients and colleagues. Joanne's recommendation (and I'm paraphrasing) was to join the big 3 and blog; as all these things would help raise your standings on 'google'. As I'm not a techy person, please excuse if I have used less than techy-language. Joanne also stressed the necessity of developing a 'strategy' in your approach to Social Media; otherwise you could find yourself easily distracted and doing it (?) 24/7!! Kudos Joanne!

In any seminar or training, as I know Joanne will agree, you can't begin to cover all the bases. It's a challenge to present all the guidelines and timelines one would want to take into consideration, in order to make the decisions that are best for them. As trainers, we trust that participants will use their wisdom and also ask questions....

My recommendation, especially if time is an issue, is to start with the one that resonates with you most and seems easiest to get your 'head around' - i.e. Set yourself up for success! Like anything else, each of the Social Media sites and tools are most effective when used consistently (at the very least 'weekly' for blogging and 'daily' for twittering - I'm chuckling to myself as I type - mmm... how times have changed!)...

My first goal is to 'blog' more.... Join me!

My second goal is to learn LinkedIn (now that I'm on there), so it's as easy as blogging for me... That's plenty for now!

To my LinkedIn friends and colleagues, thank you for your patience!

'& My last thought, is to simply use one method of communication at a time and be fully present and in the moment with the person you are engaged with! This honours them (which we all appreciate) and it reflects your intentions and integrity!

More next time...

Sheri

Sheri Andrunyk, MNLP
Business & Life Coach
Writer, Speaker

Effective & Empowering Communication with NLP

2008-09-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

Insightful Communications…Expressing You
Because First Impressions Matter

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a fascinating study of how we think and communicate, verbally and non-verbally – and how we can reinforce and/or reprogram our patterns of behavior to help us lead more fulfilling and successful lives.

It also helps us to be more aware of how we ‘connect’ with others and how we can influence circumstances or situations for the better.

When you’re engaged in a great conversation, have you ever noticed the similarities between you and the person you are speaking with? Your tempo and tone of voice is likely in sync and you might even be standing or sitting the same way.

On the contrary, have you ever felt ‘disconnected’ with someone and not sure why? Perhaps there are times that you would like to be able to change this. Being more aware of yourself and others is the first step.

This can apply on a business or personal level; whether you’re conversing face-to-face, in a group, over the phone or even by email.

There are very simple ways that you can create synergy between you and others; and even influence the energy in a room.

I’m sure you’ve heard some of the basic tips on body language and mirroring or matching; so let’s talk about ‘connecting’ with the written word, almost a dying art that needs reviving.

I’ll digress just a moment with respect to our internal language and speak to mine in particular. I always make the effort to assume that others have good intentions and I hold them up to their best selves; perhaps in part, since I hope that others will do the same for me.

That said, there are times that we’ve all read an email or article, and then found ourselves re-reading it. We often spend extra time, attempting to understand the message, sometimes second-guessing, and trying not be offended or turned off by the language or brevity of the correspondence. We’ll even put off responding until we have a bit more clarity.

Here’s some tips to help you build rapport when corresponding by email, something almost everyone does everyday:

* Ask yourself, “Does my message reflect my company (or my intentions or personality) positively, or have I left anything ‘up for interpretation’ (i.e. too brief can come across as aloof, indifferent or rushed)?”

*When responding to someone, notice how they communicate and mirror it (within reason), being mindful still of the impression you want to put forth. Also, do your utmost to reply in a timely fashion.

*Check your grammar and spelling, especially of people’s names. Take a second to review your email before hitting ‘send’, to ensure you’ve communicated clearly (to the best of your ability).

*In business especially, create an automatic signature line, so your contact info is always easily accessible. Also be sure to sign off on your correspondence with a simple ‘Thanks’ or ‘Kind regards’ and your name.

These are just the basics that most of us have learned at a very young age – good manners. Don’t let the hustle and bustle of life distract you from the importance and value of simple niceties. Quite often, there is a goldmine of opportunity awaiting us when we make the right things a priority.

By Sheri Andrunyk, Master NLP Practitioner, Entrepreneur Coach, Writer & Speaker

How do you do it ' ALL?

2008-05-19T16:13:00.000-07:00

How do you do it ‘all’?!

Well, first of all I (we) don’t, do we?

‘& If we do, we don’t last or do anything well for long!

I’m truly complimented that people often ask me how I do everything I do.

That said, over my 23 year career as an entrepreneur, I’ve also often heard… “You’re so lucky because… or It’s different for you…”

For those of us who have had any amount of success in business or in life for that matter, know it hasn’t come because of luck, or the town we live in, or what month we were born in.

Success comes from consistent effort, a positive attitude, setting goals, reviewing and refining those goals as needed and taking ‘action’ every day; in spite of the challenges and obstacles that cross our path.

Lasting success comes from doing each of these things and more, and living your life with integrity, love and commitment in everything you do.

It’s inevitable that the longer you are in business, the more transitions you will experience. Contrary to what some might think, this is very healthy, not to mention exhilarating and personally very satisfying. It’s natural to change and continually to evolve into something or someone more! In my own career and others, I’ve seen this happen about every 7 years or so. This may not be a magic number for everyone, yet it is definitely indicative of higher learning and growth, and wanting to share this with those you serve!

If we allow our minds to reflect on all the wonderful people in our lives, we’d see that the list is almost endless; just think of those who love us ‘just because’, family and friends who provide kindness and support in good times and bad, colleagues and mentors/teachers who inspire us to be our best selves, staff or industry experts that provide their services to make us look good, the medical professionals (conventional and otherwise) that do their best to keep us well, and so many more…

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule… However, if we just have a handful of these amazing people in our lives, we know that even though it might feel like it sometimes, we don’t do it all ourselves!

Be the change you want to see in the world and maintain an ‘attitude of gratitude’ in everything you do, and I guarantee that the best is still yet to come for you!

Sheri Andrunyk
Freelance Writer
Entrepreneur Coach
NLP Practitioner
insightfulcommunications@gmail.com